Goddess of... Recover & Discover

If you read the previous post, you're caught up on the years 2011 to 2016 for me, relationship-wise.

Recover

I think the first breakup of your "adulthood" is hard, really hard. You suddenly realize that maybe you don't have it all figured out and it's not going to turn out as planned. That's when you think "Plan A" is over and enters "Plan B".

I had been focusing on being a team player, building something as a couple. I had forgotten who I was (my hobbies) and had put that aside for the benefit of the "unit"... even though Nick never asked me to.

Thankfully, one thing I was smart enough never to put aside, were my friendships. I always made time for my friends over the years and they were there for me when I was broken. At some point, after some time of being broken, I realized that I had a lot of people around me who loved me and I didn't love myself nearly as much.


Discover

So about "Plan B", which probably should've been "Plan A" all along: To focus on "Project Me".

Develop a person (body, mind & soul) so interesting, you can't help but fall in love... with yourself. I think that a lot of my "issues" in life are based on my poor self-esteem. The struggle is *very* real, still to this day.

Over the past year and a half, I've been working on a personal transformation. To rediscover who I was, who I am, who I want to be. I've reconnected with my self, my friends (they're even more present in my life now), my passions, my hobbies.

Who I was : Naive, artistic, loving, generous, sweet. I've reconnected with my artistic side, going to the museum a lot (with others AND by myself), taking art classes for the first time in 12 years. As for my youthful innocence, it's harder process. I don't trust as easily, if at all. Any advice?

Who I am : Independent, interesting, curious, well-rounded. I don't let others in as easily anymore, I don't accept a lot of help (if any), I am responsible for all the bills & chores. I get a lot of satisfaction from doing things on my own, I always have... I'm an only child.

I'm well-rounded in the sense that I try a lot of things, I have so many different hobbies, and I try restaurants, bars, music, art, etc. I don't really have a speciality, something I excel in. I've been rediscovering my main interests: art, food & travel.

Who I want to be : All that I was, that I am and more. I want to be confident, self-assured, but I'm constantly afraid of being perceived as cocky or full of myself. Over the years, I've struggled with self-esteem and I decided it was better to be 'invisible'... than to be seen as cocky. I have to find the right balance now, and understand that it *is* possible to be confident without being seen as obnoxious.

I saw a shrink recently for the first time and all the commented on this was that it was "interesting". I asked for practical advice but she didn't really help me in finding solutions. I don't know why I'm like this.. but I'd like to improve. If you've got any tips, I'd love to hear it.

Later my Bloggeroos,

Goddess of.. Home Stretch: T Minus 5 Days!

Less than a week until I move into my new place and begin a brand new phase of my life!

I'm packing boxes.. and uncovering hidden/forgotten things all over my house. Some bring a smile to my face, others make me want to curl up in bed and cry. I text my friends to remind them of forgotten moments.

I guess I'm hopeful though: Starting a new chapter and I have a clean slate in my new place to forge new memories.

Can't believe this is finally happening.
The day is almost here!

Goddess of .. Where In The World Wednesday - Volume 4 !

Public Service Announcement : I want to welcome all new bloggies, there's quite a few newbies around here (now 46 followers, yay!). Make yourselves at home :o), comment whenever possible (wink, wink) and enjoy the ride !

So, without further ado, it's that time again bloggies !

The 4th edition of Where In The World wednesdays !

(Jessica @ Classy in Philadelphia started this feature)

"Basically, each week I will post a new picture of me in some place I've traveled to (or if not me, a photo I took at a place I traveled to).

If a lot of people participate, it will be a fun way to see where some of our favorite bloggers have traveled! It doesn't have to be recent, it doesn't have to be somewhere foreign or tropical. Just anywhere you consider traveling!"

Today's feature : As you may know, if you've been reading for a while, I took my mom on a trip to Philadelphia in April 2009. We were celebrating her 60th birthday ! The picture on the left was taken next to the Reading Market Terminal, our first stop in the city.. where we enjoyed some delicious cheesesteak sandwiches .. I'll be baaaaaack ! The second picture was taken in front of the gorgeous Swann Memorial Fountain, in Logan Circle.. right next to the Philly Free Library. I was so exhausted that day, it was Easter day .. we had breakfast at Sabrina's Café & Spencer's too.. later we visited the Rodin Museum and in the afternoon, Eastern State Penitentiary .. ohh and we stopped for a snack.. cinnamo-sugared donuts & locally-brewed chocolate beer at The Belgian Café. It was a loooong day, but totally amazing !

Flowers blossoming near Reading Terminal Market

&

Swann Memorial Fountain in Logan circle

My delicious cheesesteak sandwich @ Spataro's Cheesesteaks

 in Reading Terminal Market

&

Cinnamon-sugared donuts and locally-brewed chocolate beer @ The Belgian Café

located on the corner of 21st street & Green street

Excuse the late post but fotoflexer did NOT cooperate with me today.. Actually, I even tried preparing the photos yesterday .. and even then, fotoflex was being a little witch. Urgh.

Kisses & much love,

Goddess of .. Where In The World Wednesday - Volume 3 !

The lovely Jessica @ Classy in Philly started a feature called :

the Where In The World wednesdays !
{Click here to view all my WITWW posts}

"Basically, each week I will post a new picture of me in some place I've traveled to (or if not me, a photo I took at a place I traveled to).

If a lot of people participate, it will be a fun way to see where some of our favorite bloggers have traveled! It doesn't have to be recent, it doesn't have to be somewhere foreign or tropical. Just anywhere you consider traveling!"

Today's feature : Back in May 2007, Miguel and I took our first (and only) vacation together. I had just finished my bachelor's degree in Law and I had a few days off before my prom. We agreed on a warm / beachy destination.. St. Pete's Beach (just outside Tampa) in Florida. I believe we were there from April 30th to May 4th .. so around 5 days. It was a blast and the weather was perfect, every. single. day. around 85 degrees.

That's me, on the beach at sunset, right in front of our hotel,

the Grand Plaza Beachfront Resort Hotel & Conference Center.

{A couple more pics to show you our dream vacation spot}

1. The Hotel (with a revolving restaurant on top)
2. St. Pete's beach (beautiful and not too crowded in May)
3. View of the beach from our room (on the left side we could see Boca Ciega bay, beautiful as well)

Okay bloggies, enough nostalgia for today, I'm craaaaaaving the beach these days and this is not helping !

Have a great one !



If you participated in today's Where In The World Wednesday, add your name and direct link to your WITWW post to the Mr.Linky below ! ... If you didn't participate, shame on you ;o) !

Jan. 13th 2010 Where In The World Wednesday Participants :

Goddess of .. Where In The World Wednesday - Volume 1 !

The lovely Jessica @ Classy in Philly started a new feature today :

the Where In The World wednesdays !
(click to see Jessica's destination)

"Basically, each week I will post a new picture of me in some place I've traveled to (or if not me, a photo I took at a place I traveled to).

If a lot of people participate, it will be a fun way to see where some of our favorite bloggers have traveled! It doesn't have to be recent, it doesn't have to be somewhere foreign or tropical. Just anywhere you consider traveling!"

I think this is a really fun idea and I love to travel .. so I have lots of pictures I wanna share with you guys !

Today's feature : This picture was taken at the end of March 2009 when I was visiting Lolita (which could explain why I'm holding two Starbucks..) in Ottawa for the weekend, back when she lived there to study for a year. Of course, when I look at it now I think we should've take a proper picture of the Totem pole from the front  (and not the side!).. but anywowzer. It's me. It's Ottawa. It's traveling. Right ?

Me and a Totem Pole near the Byward Market

in Ottawa, Ontario, Canada

Also, I promise more exciting destinations in the weeks to come but right now, I had to take a picture that was on facebook because I'm at work :o) ... " Hi Boss! "

Goddess of .. Jogging makes me want to kill myself !

Ahem. Yes, it's true.. jogging makes me suicidal.

*Okay, okay, that may be a teeny tiny wee-bit of exageration but you get the point : I HATE JOGGING (and I'm pretty sure Jogging hates me)...*

I went jogging with Lolita last night .. and it just confirmed how badly out-of-shape I am.
I stopped going to the gym around the time my parents separated and I started my internship (so around Christmas '08-January '09).

That was the BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE !!! I'm telling you, if you're on a good work-out schedule .. DO NOT EVER stop. If you do eff up like me and stop, you're an idiot. Simply because when you do muster up the courage to start again, it's going to hurt, I mean like really H-U-R-T .. like death on a stick !!!!

You know I cultivate the impossible (for now) dream of running a marathon or half-marathon and you may also know that, even back in May, I couldn't run without getting the feeling that I was getting choked to death.

Anyhow, my lack of motivation is obvious and all I could think, the whole time I was running, was how much I hate running. Lolita reminded me I needed to push myself more and that I need to do it a few more times before I start to feel better about it. And well, I agree, I've been there before.

So, I tried to think happy thoughts ... *cricket sounds* ... nothing.

I tried switching the song on my iPod everytime I thought of something negative .. which worked a couple times .. but only ended in a furry of button-pressing madness until finally, I just couldn't switch the songs fast enough anymore. I had had enough.

I can't say that I felt better afterwards and I am sore this morning, but I'm not giving up on physical activity. I still love to ride my bicycle, I love kayaking, I love yoga (not HOT yoga though.. remember here and here) and more.

Lolita and I went cycling last weekend and have more plans to go bike by the water this weekend, I am looking forward to getting a tan (ahem. it's an illusion, my pale skin can't tan) and a workout ! Yay, I'm really excited !

P.S. That's my old hand-me-down bike on the right ! I need to get it checked .. I noticed last sunday that I have a flat tire (possibly both, actually). Until then, I'll use Lolita's instead because she prefers rollerblading anyway.

Goddess of .. Dreaming an impossible dream ???

I got a call today, from the Team in Training chapter in my town, because I registered online to get information about Nike's Women Marathon in San Francisco..

It's been a dream of mine for almost two years now. I've been wanting to raise money for the Lymphoma and Leukemia Society since my uncle passed away, from a lymphoma disease, in July 2007.
They just sent me the information package via email .. and it says that I would need to raise over 5000$ (for my expenses to be covered) by October 2009. Oufff .. that's a lot of money.

I'm thinking, last year, my mom and I did the Canadian Cancer Society's Relay for Life and together we raised 1000$ .. so 5000$ by myself sounds IMPOSSIBLE right now.

And, I would have to train very hard to get in shape .. to run a marathon or half-marathon by October.

AND, I need to decide by tomorrow 5pm.
Ugh, this is so discouraging. This is one of my dreams right now and it's not looking good. I knew it wouldn't be easy but still .. it sounds totally impossible, right ???

Goddess of .. Toys from my childhood !

I guess I'm feeling nostalgic today because I feel like posting about my childhood and the games that made it what it was !!

I was browsing t-shirts on Busted Tees and came across the following designs :

Classic yet revolutionnary at the time, the pogoball !

I loved this toy so much and played with it all the time.

Being the klutz that I am, it's kind of a miracle that
I was never injured while operating said ball..

Oh, the snapping bracelets, how I loved these bracelets ! I felt so cool, so stylish when I wore 'em..Nowadays, I must resort to stilettos to get that same feeling :) Much less comfortable, mind you.

Oh and the others :

I loved these little creatures and still think they're über cute ! I taught my mom a lesson with those, or actually, I reminded her of a lesson she taught me.

I asked her to buy me a troll (or a dozen of them) and she said : "But honey, they're sooo ugly" with the most disgusted expression on her face. So I said : "But mommy, you told me to love all people/creatures, no matter their differences" .. Needless to say, I got a collection of trolls now :o) Yipee !

I hope these little anecdotes satisfied your late friday need-to-waste-some-time ! It sure occupied a lot of my afternoon :o)

What were you favorite toys as a child ?!?

Lolita arrived @ my house 30 minutes ago. She and my Mom are going shopping. Tomorrow is Mr. Unreliable's moving day .. Lolita and I are finally gonna get to meet his girlfriend (of over a year) and hopefully, it'll all go smoothly !

Happy weekend bloggies,